There are many things in our modern society that would shock the late Charles Dickens, and I would argue that the use, or more accurately, the over-use, of the term "good times" would be the most shocking.
"Good times" is yet another item that has come onto the current scene due to an SNL skit.
However, due to over-saturation in our current spoken vocabulary, "Good times" has passed its prime. In fact, it has been past its prime for at least a year now, maybe more. ("Good times" [or GT] is not to be confused with "a good time" which is still a socially acceptable term.)
"Good times" is used as a filler term, which finds much use mostly among 20-somethings, most likely in social situations, who have a burning desire to say something, say anything, but HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY. It's this insecurity that has fueled GT to platinum status. And it's an easy laugh, because hey, who doesn't like SNL? (the degradation of SNL is another topic entirely...)
Well, I have a message for these people: you would be better off saying nothing, than saying "good times". Please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP SAYING "GOOD TIMES". Every time I hear GT, I cringe. No, I used to cringe. Now, I either openly mock or I decide right on the spot that I want nothing to do with that person.
Brief story of relevance. A close friend of mine has a nasty little habit of ending each of his emails with "Good times." I'm not sure why he would put that same old not-so-funny-anymore phrase at the end of each email, but to each his own. Well, prior to about a year ago, it didn't really bother me. But you can only take so many "good times". (In fact, I think that we are each built with a "good times" counter - once the counter reaches oh, ten thousand times hearing "good times", we then go into either fight or flight mode. It's a scientific fact.).
So, a few months ago, I finally e-called him out (decided this one was worth the fight). In response to his not-so-catchy closing phrase, I responded "Great taste." That was all I wrote, then sent. If you remember, there was an old McDonald's commercial that ended with "Good times, great taste." I just needed a way to bring attention to the fact that he had been over-using GT for years and no one found it even close to amusing anymore. Long story short, he slowed in his usage of GT for a few months, but now is back to it with almost the same frequency as before.
Conclusion: Once a good timer, always a good timer.
Lesson learned: Can't teach an old good timer new closing phrases.
As I've been on my anti-"Good times" kick for what seems like forever now, people around me are starting to feel the same about GT. In fact, my brother and I were at a social gathering 2 months ago. We were talking with a couple of new girls, trying to get a taste of what they were like. As often happens in these scenes, during the changing of the topic, there can be a brief pause where no one says anything. During each one of these pauses, the cuter of the two girls blurted out "Good times." (Yes, blurted. It sounded like she had diarrhea of the mouth.) She even did a double take on at least three, that I recall. (That's when the first GT is followed quickly by a second, slower GT. Usually the second GT is in a little bit deeper voice than the first.) The double take GT almost makes it sound like the person saying it has thought about the conversation, and they are absolutely convinced that it has, indeed, been "good times." Personally once I heard the girl say GT the second time I ruled her out. There was no way I could handle being with her for more than 5 minutes at a time. In the first 2 minutes of conversation, she had said GT at least 5 times. So upon realizing that she was a die-hard good timer, I basically ignored both her and her friend at the party that night, wanting nothing to do with either of them. Call me shallow if you will, but I felt I owed it to them and myself. It was only fair to both of us to end what would have been a rocky relationship right then and there.
My brother's GT radar, however, was not yet as sensitive as mine at that point in time. So they actually went on a couple of dates, both times at her invitation. Each time, before he left, he indicated to me, "I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle the 'good times' tonight. Why does she just not say 'good times'?" Well, after 2 dates, he just couldn't handle it any more. "Good times" ruined what could have been a great relationship.
But the question remains, Why does she just not say 'good times'? Why does anyone continue to use "good times"? GT could become one of the biggest relationship-wreckers in our society. I saw a new stat the other day that indicated that there are now more single adults in America than married adults. Would it be too far of a stretch to connect this stat to the rampant, unprotected use of "good times"?
I think not!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Crumbling the Regime of the Goatee
Goatee = the Next Mullet?
(pronounced, "moo-LAY", French connotation, meaning "totally sweet hairdo worn today only by crazed, fashion-senseless rednecks")
In July 2006, I celebrated the 1-year anniversary of the birth of my Goatee-Mullet Theory. Some in my inner circle have heard me go on about goatees ... goatees this, and goatees that. Basically, it's a theory of how lame and also-ran the goatee has become today. It must have been ten years ago that I recall actually seeing my first goatee in person. Before that, it was just mustaches and beards. I believe it was with the advent of the nose-hair trimmer and other, small facial hair trimmers that the goatee found its roots. However, no matter how it found its roots, the goatee has been in full effect and riding a wave of popularity ever since. Seems like it's been a requirement for NBA players to wear one, if possible. There are some obvious exceptions to the rule, like Yao Ming (can't grow facial hair), Steve Nash (white) and Pat Burke (completely hairless individual). Even 1/3 of the Women's NBA currently sports a goatee.
"Goatees will never be like mullets. This guy is crazy!" Oh yeah? Well back in 1980, mullets were never going to be mullets either. Granted, the world was a different place when mullets were king. Guns 'N Roses and Def Leppard denim jackets were cool, Slim Jim was popular, and every kid in the neighborhood owned a BMX bike. Some may say that these things are still popular in some pockets of the country... well that's because these pockets haven't changed since 1980. In fact, in these pockets of the country you will still find mullets, out and about like they never lost their style. Sometimes even now, someone from one of these pockets will accidentally wander out into the rest of the country to be seen by the rest of us. In fact, I was at dinner just last weekend and sitting less than 5 feet away was a flaming mullet. You know, the whole "business up-front, party in the back" haircut/lifestyle. And that's cool, if that's your thing.
(I might add here that no haircut in history has EVER even come close to reflecting the lifestyle of its owner quite like the mullet... nope, not the buzz-cut, bowl-cut, bob 'n weave, or even jerrycurls. You just can't say "man, that guy lives life exactly like his haircut!" unless it's a mullet.)
So why is the goatee going to become the next mullet? Well, if we had to choose 1 thing from society today that had the potential to become the next mullet, what would be at the top of that list? What makes a mullet, a mullet?
Goatees v. Ascots, round 1
Why has mullet spotting ("hunting") become so popular these days? Even 5 years ago, there were myriad of websites whose whole premise was to publish and mock a single hairstyle. But why, I ask? Is it due to the rarity of actual mullets in our modern society? Is it really like seeing a live tiger on the subway (the cliche "wild animal goes to the city" storyline)? Is it the mystique of seeing something that was thought to be extinct over 10 years ago (the same as the day when I was at dinner at a chic little Italian restaurant on the south end of Manhattan and two guys came in together wearing ascots... it was like opening up the drapes on a sunny Saturday morning and seeing a Pterodactyl sitting in the front tree. I was SURE that the ascot was extinct...)
My firm belief is that the mullet has become so rare, that seeing one in person just shocks most of us. Not in a necessarily positive way, although it does make the day a little brighter when you tell your friends about it later. If we think about it, I think we will all agree that the mullet carries a very powerful mystique in our society today. Not sure why...
Goatees v. Ascots, round 2
Next, we need to discuss the Fashion Life Cycle. The mullet came onto the scene pretty quickly. It left pretty quickly, too. That's the trick with fashion... you need to get on the right trains. Some trains will be running for quite a long time, but stay away from those fashion feux paux trains. You may someday be embarrassed to have ridden on the wrong trains. The mullet train was one that, as it was leaving New York City, people thought it was going on a long journey to L.A., and that's why they got on. They had no idea it was going to stop in Hackensack, NJ, to never get back on the tracks again...
No one wants to show their children pictures of when they had a mullet. "Daddy, I thought you were better than that." - my heart would crumble if my little girl ever said that to me (if I had a little girl). And I'm predicting it will be the same scenario for the goatee. In fact, we have seen in the past few months some signs that the goatee is becoming less socially acceptable. From an article in GQ about how the goatee is no longer the fashion-conscious facial hair of choice, to ET doing a short report on the declining popularity of the goatee.
Maybe even more telling is the fact that more rednecks are beginning to sport the goatee. Normally, once the rednecks begin to try out a style, it's past the first phase of the fashion life cycle, known as "A-List Popularity". The second phase is when the fashion goes to the masses, or "Mass Popularity". This is when the A-list celeb's will begin to jump off the train. The third phase is "Redneck Popularity". It is at this stage when a fashion will become mainstream for rednecks; some of the masses will begin to change their style because they don't want to appear to be a redneck.
In terms of the Mullet Life Cycle, the Goatee, for the past year 7-8 years has been in the Mass Popularity phase. However, we are nearing full entrance into the Redneck Popularity phase. I have seen more goatees per redneck capita in the past 2 months than ever. It's like they finally got the memo that was sent 10 years ago. And as we saw with the mullet, once the goatee enters phase 3, it will then begin to slowly downgrade in popularity with the masses. If the masses sour on the goatee like they did with the mullet, then we could be looking at a Goatee Armageddon.
Just remember who said it first: the goatee will be the next mullet. I did.
(pronounced, "moo-LAY", French connotation, meaning "totally sweet hairdo worn today only by crazed, fashion-senseless rednecks")
In July 2006, I celebrated the 1-year anniversary of the birth of my Goatee-Mullet Theory. Some in my inner circle have heard me go on about goatees ... goatees this, and goatees that. Basically, it's a theory of how lame and also-ran the goatee has become today. It must have been ten years ago that I recall actually seeing my first goatee in person. Before that, it was just mustaches and beards. I believe it was with the advent of the nose-hair trimmer and other, small facial hair trimmers that the goatee found its roots. However, no matter how it found its roots, the goatee has been in full effect and riding a wave of popularity ever since. Seems like it's been a requirement for NBA players to wear one, if possible. There are some obvious exceptions to the rule, like Yao Ming (can't grow facial hair), Steve Nash (white) and Pat Burke (completely hairless individual). Even 1/3 of the Women's NBA currently sports a goatee.
"Goatees will never be like mullets. This guy is crazy!" Oh yeah? Well back in 1980, mullets were never going to be mullets either. Granted, the world was a different place when mullets were king. Guns 'N Roses and Def Leppard denim jackets were cool, Slim Jim was popular, and every kid in the neighborhood owned a BMX bike. Some may say that these things are still popular in some pockets of the country... well that's because these pockets haven't changed since 1980. In fact, in these pockets of the country you will still find mullets, out and about like they never lost their style. Sometimes even now, someone from one of these pockets will accidentally wander out into the rest of the country to be seen by the rest of us. In fact, I was at dinner just last weekend and sitting less than 5 feet away was a flaming mullet. You know, the whole "business up-front, party in the back" haircut/lifestyle. And that's cool, if that's your thing.
(I might add here that no haircut in history has EVER even come close to reflecting the lifestyle of its owner quite like the mullet... nope, not the buzz-cut, bowl-cut, bob 'n weave, or even jerrycurls. You just can't say "man, that guy lives life exactly like his haircut!" unless it's a mullet.)
So why is the goatee going to become the next mullet? Well, if we had to choose 1 thing from society today that had the potential to become the next mullet, what would be at the top of that list? What makes a mullet, a mullet?
Goatees v. Ascots, round 1
Why has mullet spotting ("hunting") become so popular these days? Even 5 years ago, there were myriad of websites whose whole premise was to publish and mock a single hairstyle. But why, I ask? Is it due to the rarity of actual mullets in our modern society? Is it really like seeing a live tiger on the subway (the cliche "wild animal goes to the city" storyline)? Is it the mystique of seeing something that was thought to be extinct over 10 years ago (the same as the day when I was at dinner at a chic little Italian restaurant on the south end of Manhattan and two guys came in together wearing ascots... it was like opening up the drapes on a sunny Saturday morning and seeing a Pterodactyl sitting in the front tree. I was SURE that the ascot was extinct...)
My firm belief is that the mullet has become so rare, that seeing one in person just shocks most of us. Not in a necessarily positive way, although it does make the day a little brighter when you tell your friends about it later. If we think about it, I think we will all agree that the mullet carries a very powerful mystique in our society today. Not sure why...
Goatees v. Ascots, round 2
Next, we need to discuss the Fashion Life Cycle. The mullet came onto the scene pretty quickly. It left pretty quickly, too. That's the trick with fashion... you need to get on the right trains. Some trains will be running for quite a long time, but stay away from those fashion feux paux trains. You may someday be embarrassed to have ridden on the wrong trains. The mullet train was one that, as it was leaving New York City, people thought it was going on a long journey to L.A., and that's why they got on. They had no idea it was going to stop in Hackensack, NJ, to never get back on the tracks again...
No one wants to show their children pictures of when they had a mullet. "Daddy, I thought you were better than that." - my heart would crumble if my little girl ever said that to me (if I had a little girl). And I'm predicting it will be the same scenario for the goatee. In fact, we have seen in the past few months some signs that the goatee is becoming less socially acceptable. From an article in GQ about how the goatee is no longer the fashion-conscious facial hair of choice, to ET doing a short report on the declining popularity of the goatee.
Maybe even more telling is the fact that more rednecks are beginning to sport the goatee. Normally, once the rednecks begin to try out a style, it's past the first phase of the fashion life cycle, known as "A-List Popularity". The second phase is when the fashion goes to the masses, or "Mass Popularity". This is when the A-list celeb's will begin to jump off the train. The third phase is "Redneck Popularity". It is at this stage when a fashion will become mainstream for rednecks; some of the masses will begin to change their style because they don't want to appear to be a redneck.
In terms of the Mullet Life Cycle, the Goatee, for the past year 7-8 years has been in the Mass Popularity phase. However, we are nearing full entrance into the Redneck Popularity phase. I have seen more goatees per redneck capita in the past 2 months than ever. It's like they finally got the memo that was sent 10 years ago. And as we saw with the mullet, once the goatee enters phase 3, it will then begin to slowly downgrade in popularity with the masses. If the masses sour on the goatee like they did with the mullet, then we could be looking at a Goatee Armageddon.
Just remember who said it first: the goatee will be the next mullet. I did.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
the karma of midgets
so... midgets, huh? [if you are a midget, or small person, reading this, please note that it is written entirely for humorous purposes and with no malintent toward anyone.]
the item that spurned me to write about midgets this week was an advertisement in the Phoenix New Times newspaper. they were searching for midgets to help in future promotions. midgets for promotions? why do you need midgets to promote a newspaper? is there something about a midget that says "newspaper" better than a non-midget? (by the way, what is the correct word to describe someone who is not a midget? you really can't say "a regular person".. because midgets are "regular" people too.. providing they eat enough fiber. there's just not a good, socially acceptable way to say "a non-midget" with just one word.. so midgets are 1-up in the "describe yourself with one word" game).
---the rise of midgets---
really though, let's think about this. did anyone even know that midgets existed before Austin Powers? that was about the time that the proverbial midget train got rolling down the track to an unprecedented outbreak in our society. "outbreak" might be the wrong word...
now we have famous midgets all over. remember those stories about Ben Roethlisberger during the 2004-2005 NFL season, about how the Friday night before his first start for the Steelers, he just happened to be in a Pittsburg bar that was having Midget Night w/ some little guys dancing and pouring drinks on the bar. well it turned out that Ben was superstitious, so after he won that first week, he had to go back to the same bar every Friday after that for the streak to continue. did Ben know something about midgets that we, as a society, are beginning to realize? is there a special power that comes with midgets? do midgets improve our karma? apparently Ben thought so. he felt that the midgets improved his playing ability enough that he HAD to return to that bar every Friday night for months on end, to get his dose of midget.
so why the sudden growth in midget popularity? is it because there actually ARE more midgets now than ever before? i don't recall seeing any midgets in any black and white films, is that because there were no midgets at that time? and you won't find any midgets in any 80's movies either. do we have documented evidence of midgets before 1992?
even Geico is now using Mini Me (probably the most famous of all midgets) in their commercials... does he do anything special? no. does he have any acting talent? no. is he out-of-the-ordinary in any way, other than his height? no. is he a midget? yes. no further questions, your honor.
so again, why are they so popular right now? my best guess is that they make us laugh. based on the media that contains midgets, it's all based on their powerful comedic effect.
why do short people make us laugh though? and are we laughing with them, or at them? seems like we're laughing AT them. honestly, i don't see too many midgets laughing at themselves. it makes me laugh that our society is so sensitive to being politically correct in so many areas, but when it comes to midgets, we can pretty much exploit them as much as we want for a few cheap laughs. we probably need some sort of Coalition for the Little People or a Midget Union to stand up for their rights, to ensure that we non-midgets are treating them fairly. i would put in a vote for the establishment of a Midget Union. no questions asked.
---too many midgets?---
are midgets taking away jobs from other, potentially funnier non-midgets? like Carrot Top. where has he been for the past 7 years? i would almost argue that the midgets ran him out of the biz. just when he was starting to see some popularity on the national level, "WATCH OUT CARROT TOP, HERE COMES THE MIDGET TRAIN!!!" CT's comedy career timing couldn't have been worse. he just needed to be about 5 years earlier and there would have been no stopping him. we'll chalk him up as another fatality caused by the snowballing effect of midget power. personally, i believe there is room for everyone in our society - midgets, non-midgets, whatever. come one, come all. but i could also understand why someone like Carrot Top would be angry with them for drowning his career in their wake. i wouldn't be surprised to see some animosity toward the midgets in Hollywood. but the answer to the too many midgets? question is NO. in our capitalist society, Hollywood is merely supplying what we are demanding. and apparently we are demanding more midgets. if we didn't want more midgets, then we wouldn't see ads like the one in the Phoenix New Times, looking for any and all midgets, funny or not, just to help sell some newspapers.
---i got a fever... and the only cure, more midget---
hopefully, we as a society are treating the midgets well. they deserve our best. it would be a real loss if they were to go the way of the buffalo. unexplainable though it may be, midgets really ARE funny. there's no two ways about it. i don't know why they make me laugh, they just do. sort of like Canadians. (speaking of Canadians, those guys have really stormed the celebrity comedy scene too. laughs per capita, i would have to put midgets at #1, with Canadians right behind at #2).
i don't want my children to have to learn about midgets by going to a museum, or by renting some out-dated comedy movie. so let's take care of them. let's call them "little people" if they don't like "midgets". let's accomodate them any and every way possible. let's allow them to drive cars, even if they can't see over the windshield. let's help them to form a union. and if they want their own state, give it to them. just keep THEM happy so they can continue to keep US happy.
the item that spurned me to write about midgets this week was an advertisement in the Phoenix New Times newspaper. they were searching for midgets to help in future promotions. midgets for promotions? why do you need midgets to promote a newspaper? is there something about a midget that says "newspaper" better than a non-midget? (by the way, what is the correct word to describe someone who is not a midget? you really can't say "a regular person".. because midgets are "regular" people too.. providing they eat enough fiber. there's just not a good, socially acceptable way to say "a non-midget" with just one word.. so midgets are 1-up in the "describe yourself with one word" game).
---the rise of midgets---
really though, let's think about this. did anyone even know that midgets existed before Austin Powers? that was about the time that the proverbial midget train got rolling down the track to an unprecedented outbreak in our society. "outbreak" might be the wrong word...
now we have famous midgets all over. remember those stories about Ben Roethlisberger during the 2004-2005 NFL season, about how the Friday night before his first start for the Steelers, he just happened to be in a Pittsburg bar that was having Midget Night w/ some little guys dancing and pouring drinks on the bar. well it turned out that Ben was superstitious, so after he won that first week, he had to go back to the same bar every Friday after that for the streak to continue. did Ben know something about midgets that we, as a society, are beginning to realize? is there a special power that comes with midgets? do midgets improve our karma? apparently Ben thought so. he felt that the midgets improved his playing ability enough that he HAD to return to that bar every Friday night for months on end, to get his dose of midget.
so why the sudden growth in midget popularity? is it because there actually ARE more midgets now than ever before? i don't recall seeing any midgets in any black and white films, is that because there were no midgets at that time? and you won't find any midgets in any 80's movies either. do we have documented evidence of midgets before 1992?
even Geico is now using Mini Me (probably the most famous of all midgets) in their commercials... does he do anything special? no. does he have any acting talent? no. is he out-of-the-ordinary in any way, other than his height? no. is he a midget? yes. no further questions, your honor.
so again, why are they so popular right now? my best guess is that they make us laugh. based on the media that contains midgets, it's all based on their powerful comedic effect.
why do short people make us laugh though? and are we laughing with them, or at them? seems like we're laughing AT them. honestly, i don't see too many midgets laughing at themselves. it makes me laugh that our society is so sensitive to being politically correct in so many areas, but when it comes to midgets, we can pretty much exploit them as much as we want for a few cheap laughs. we probably need some sort of Coalition for the Little People or a Midget Union to stand up for their rights, to ensure that we non-midgets are treating them fairly. i would put in a vote for the establishment of a Midget Union. no questions asked.
---too many midgets?---
are midgets taking away jobs from other, potentially funnier non-midgets? like Carrot Top. where has he been for the past 7 years? i would almost argue that the midgets ran him out of the biz. just when he was starting to see some popularity on the national level, "WATCH OUT CARROT TOP, HERE COMES THE MIDGET TRAIN!!!" CT's comedy career timing couldn't have been worse. he just needed to be about 5 years earlier and there would have been no stopping him. we'll chalk him up as another fatality caused by the snowballing effect of midget power. personally, i believe there is room for everyone in our society - midgets, non-midgets, whatever. come one, come all. but i could also understand why someone like Carrot Top would be angry with them for drowning his career in their wake. i wouldn't be surprised to see some animosity toward the midgets in Hollywood. but the answer to the too many midgets? question is NO. in our capitalist society, Hollywood is merely supplying what we are demanding. and apparently we are demanding more midgets. if we didn't want more midgets, then we wouldn't see ads like the one in the Phoenix New Times, looking for any and all midgets, funny or not, just to help sell some newspapers.
---i got a fever... and the only cure, more midget---
hopefully, we as a society are treating the midgets well. they deserve our best. it would be a real loss if they were to go the way of the buffalo. unexplainable though it may be, midgets really ARE funny. there's no two ways about it. i don't know why they make me laugh, they just do. sort of like Canadians. (speaking of Canadians, those guys have really stormed the celebrity comedy scene too. laughs per capita, i would have to put midgets at #1, with Canadians right behind at #2).
i don't want my children to have to learn about midgets by going to a museum, or by renting some out-dated comedy movie. so let's take care of them. let's call them "little people" if they don't like "midgets". let's accomodate them any and every way possible. let's allow them to drive cars, even if they can't see over the windshield. let's help them to form a union. and if they want their own state, give it to them. just keep THEM happy so they can continue to keep US happy.
Friday, October 06, 2006
ankle socks and g-strings
if it was possible to buy stock in a certain style of clothing, i would go back in time about 2 years and buy as much stock as i could possibly afford in ankle socks. by ankle socks, i don't mean the socks that stop at the top of the ankle, i mean those socks that don't even peek out the top of your low-top tenny runners. i seem to have heard a different name for them somewhere..
"peds" comes to mind, but that is too close to "pedophiles" and "pedorasts", so i shy away from it. let's face it, i don't want my blog to be at the top of the google search results next time Michael Jackson gets near a computer. back to the topic..
these socks are like the bikinis of the foot world. better yet, they are the g-strings, minus the fact that they probably don't get stuck in any cracks that they are covering. (could you imagine socks that get caught in between each set of your toes? why are g-strings so popular anyway? seems like if they get caught in your rear-end, like they appear to do, they would be more of an uncomfy hassle than they are worth.. are g-strings sold with a crowbar?) back to the topic..
maybe they are called "heel socks", as they barely seem to cover the heel. since the more traditional "ankle socks" actually covered the ankle, "heel socks" seems like an appropriate term for these immodest fluffy little cotton bad boys. heel socks is what i'm calling them from now on.. join me in this revolution if you'd like.
seems like every dude i know is wearing them now. i should have bought stock in them about 2 years ago, when my youngest brother got a pair. ONE PAIR. i will never forget the day he showed up wearing them, and i thought he had joined the Miami Vice gang, because he looked like Don Johnson walking around with no socks, just shoes. i commented to him about how gross it was to wear shoes without socks. he just laughed and kicked his shoe off, to reveal this skimpy little item, that appeared to be an old sock which he had cut off with a pair of scissors, just above the heel. i didn't believe that he had paid for the pair. until a couple weeks later he was wearing them everywhere. was i missing out on something?
fast forward to august 2005. my oldest brother showed up at a golf tournament wearing them. this is when i knew heel socks were mainstream. that's because this brother had always been a lagard when it came to technology/fashion/trends. not due to lack of funds.. he just was decidedly slow in catching on. it wasn't until early 2006 that he finally upgraded from his dial-up connection. and it wasn't until late 2005 that he finally got his first cell phone. that should be enough to pinpoint his location on the "adopting new trends" scale. and prior to aug 05, he was wearing knee-high socks, which were pushed down to mid-calf length (this was the style when he was growing up in the 80's). but from that point forward, he wears heel socks everywhere. in fact, i haven't seen him without them on in about 10 months now. he probably sleeps and showers in them.
one more comparison of heel socks to women's underwear->
fast forward to march 2006. my cousin moved into my apartment to crash for a month. he has always been on the cutting edge of new trends. he had a myspace account right after it opened to the public - that should be enough to paint his picture on the trend scale. while he lived with me, i noticed he wore the same heel socks as my brothers, with one difference. his were BLACK. you know that old saying "if a woman wears colored underwear, it's because she wants someone to see it".. that was what first jumped into my mind when i saw his black heel socks.. "he wants someone to see those socks, he wants some girl to walk up to him and rip his shoes off, revealing what's underneath" anyway.. the socks have that same sort of "wear them underneath and make people guess at what color they might be" appeal that women's underwear has to men. and that makes them pretty cool.
and now everyone is wearing them. at least i hope. i just see most guys wearing only shoes these days, which i assume means that they are wearing heel socks underneath. not all these guys can be part of the Miami Vice gang, can they? anyway, it seems like the heel socks stock has gone through the roof.
so what's the future of heel socks.. let me use my father to predict. my father is known for his anti-trend notions. he still has an old pair of sweat pants which he wears that just barely cover the bottom edge of his knees, when he wears them at normal height (about 2" ABOVE the belly button). and they are those old tight, elastic-ankled sweats (or elastic-calved for him..) yeah, he's no bastion of fashion. believe me on this one, my dad is not in david beckham's cell phone. anyhow, since my dad doesn't wear heel socks yet, they JUST MIGHT still have some cool time left..
so my word of advice is to hold your heel sock stock as long as you can, but be ready to sell it at the first sign of my dad jumping on that train. because once my dad gets a pair, the market for heel socks will be headed for its Black Tuesday.
"peds" comes to mind, but that is too close to "pedophiles" and "pedorasts", so i shy away from it. let's face it, i don't want my blog to be at the top of the google search results next time Michael Jackson gets near a computer. back to the topic..
these socks are like the bikinis of the foot world. better yet, they are the g-strings, minus the fact that they probably don't get stuck in any cracks that they are covering. (could you imagine socks that get caught in between each set of your toes? why are g-strings so popular anyway? seems like if they get caught in your rear-end, like they appear to do, they would be more of an uncomfy hassle than they are worth.. are g-strings sold with a crowbar?) back to the topic..
maybe they are called "heel socks", as they barely seem to cover the heel. since the more traditional "ankle socks" actually covered the ankle, "heel socks" seems like an appropriate term for these immodest fluffy little cotton bad boys. heel socks is what i'm calling them from now on.. join me in this revolution if you'd like.
seems like every dude i know is wearing them now. i should have bought stock in them about 2 years ago, when my youngest brother got a pair. ONE PAIR. i will never forget the day he showed up wearing them, and i thought he had joined the Miami Vice gang, because he looked like Don Johnson walking around with no socks, just shoes. i commented to him about how gross it was to wear shoes without socks. he just laughed and kicked his shoe off, to reveal this skimpy little item, that appeared to be an old sock which he had cut off with a pair of scissors, just above the heel. i didn't believe that he had paid for the pair. until a couple weeks later he was wearing them everywhere. was i missing out on something?
fast forward to august 2005. my oldest brother showed up at a golf tournament wearing them. this is when i knew heel socks were mainstream. that's because this brother had always been a lagard when it came to technology/fashion/trends. not due to lack of funds.. he just was decidedly slow in catching on. it wasn't until early 2006 that he finally upgraded from his dial-up connection. and it wasn't until late 2005 that he finally got his first cell phone. that should be enough to pinpoint his location on the "adopting new trends" scale. and prior to aug 05, he was wearing knee-high socks, which were pushed down to mid-calf length (this was the style when he was growing up in the 80's). but from that point forward, he wears heel socks everywhere. in fact, i haven't seen him without them on in about 10 months now. he probably sleeps and showers in them.
one more comparison of heel socks to women's underwear->
fast forward to march 2006. my cousin moved into my apartment to crash for a month. he has always been on the cutting edge of new trends. he had a myspace account right after it opened to the public - that should be enough to paint his picture on the trend scale. while he lived with me, i noticed he wore the same heel socks as my brothers, with one difference. his were BLACK. you know that old saying "if a woman wears colored underwear, it's because she wants someone to see it".. that was what first jumped into my mind when i saw his black heel socks.. "he wants someone to see those socks, he wants some girl to walk up to him and rip his shoes off, revealing what's underneath" anyway.. the socks have that same sort of "wear them underneath and make people guess at what color they might be" appeal that women's underwear has to men. and that makes them pretty cool.
and now everyone is wearing them. at least i hope. i just see most guys wearing only shoes these days, which i assume means that they are wearing heel socks underneath. not all these guys can be part of the Miami Vice gang, can they? anyway, it seems like the heel socks stock has gone through the roof.
so what's the future of heel socks.. let me use my father to predict. my father is known for his anti-trend notions. he still has an old pair of sweat pants which he wears that just barely cover the bottom edge of his knees, when he wears them at normal height (about 2" ABOVE the belly button). and they are those old tight, elastic-ankled sweats (or elastic-calved for him..) yeah, he's no bastion of fashion. believe me on this one, my dad is not in david beckham's cell phone. anyhow, since my dad doesn't wear heel socks yet, they JUST MIGHT still have some cool time left..
so my word of advice is to hold your heel sock stock as long as you can, but be ready to sell it at the first sign of my dad jumping on that train. because once my dad gets a pair, the market for heel socks will be headed for its Black Tuesday.
the beginning, the truth and other stuff
i just need a place to post my view of STUFF. this is also known as the "truth", as i see it. each post will be my personal reaction to something that i may throw into the category of STUFF. although it will probably never actually be a reaction to STUFFed animals, it may include a reaction to STUFFed crust pizza or maybe even Stove Top STUFFing. see, i don't like some stuff... so i probably won't comment on those items. unless i want to. and i just might... so don't try to predict the next stuff, cause you might make a fool of yourself. but i do like some other stuff.
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