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Sunday, October 26, 2008

(My wife is gonna kill me for this)

So we just found out last week that we are expecting a little girl.

Considering all the comments I've made for years about wanting only boys, it seems only appropriate that now we'll have 3 girls. But there are so many positives about having girls. Hmm... I may need to think about those positives some more so that I can actually come up with some. (My wife is going to kill me for that).

Let me start again... the ONLY negative about finding out that we're having a girl is that all the great names I wanted to bestow upon my offspring are now entirely useless. My favorites were Sasquatch, Chewbacca, and Kron. I've been duly informed that none of these will work with a little girl, and this blog's purpose is to mourn the loss of these names. Not just the loss of the names, but the complete and utter waste of brain power that I put into coming up with them.




(I would have put a picture of Kron here, but I have no idea what Kron looks like. Probaby another sort of hairy carnivore. Just use your imagination.)

My hope is that I will be as happy with the birth of our pending girl as I am sad about the waste of these great names. (My wife is gonna kill me for that).

Now to the next item on the list: coming up with a name for this pending female grapefruit-sized creature.

There are really just two things I'd like to briefly discuss here.

1. Thursday, while at the ultrasound, we were able to witness a technology that scared me, and that I need to warn any future parents about before falling victim to its potential for evil. I believe it is called "4-D imaging", and it allows you to see the womb-baby as it would really appear right now. When I heard about, I thought it was a great idea... however, our womb-baby actually looks like a skeleton zombie right now (my wife is gonna kill me for that). I keep having nightmares with our skeleton zombie womb-baby crying and I have to keep changing its diapers while it tries to eat my flesh (my wife is gonna kill me for that).

2. We need a girl name. To put it lightly, I'm not really excited about coming up with a girl's name... even though I'm beginning to think after seeing the little skeleton zombie womb-baby that we may still be able to get away with Sasquatch or Kron (my wife is gonna kill me for that). However, in this, the hour of my deep mourning for the loss of my sweet collection of boy names, I have come up with a win-win solution to help us find a girl name. So what's my solution, you ask?

I want to sell the rights to naming our baby on eBay. That way, we get a little pocket change to pay my hospital bill after I pass out during my wife's labor, and we come away with a name that we can blame on someone else. My wife is gonna kill me for all of this.

13 comments:

Christina said...

Don't you just add an 'a' to a boy's name to make it a girl's name? Easy as pie.

I'm so excited you're having a girl! I told D you needed another girl. My bad.

Unknown said...

Way to blog, Petrovich.

David said...

I think you should put it up for sale on eBay. I would bid on that.

steph said...

Well, i'd probably kill you for some of that. Not the alien baby though they are freaky looking so early in the womb.

ps, whatever happened to Sasquatchania. :)

Chandra said...

I know your wife extremely well, she's a forgiving person, so if you're lucky she'll just find a way to maim you!

Did you seriously opt for 4-d or was that all they had??

Anonymous said...

Pete-
My argument for girls - there will be more of the following:

1. Cute
2. Pink
3. Barbie
4. Glitter

Coincidentally, these great qualities can also double as names. :)

Love,
Catania

P.S. Is it appropriate for me to put my threat in at this part, or should I post an entirely new comment for that?

Unknown said...

Post a new comment.

(we need a hint as to where we should search for his lifeless body)

smootheP said...

How much would you be willing to pay to name a child whatever you want?

And what would you call it?

Anonymous said...

I think Backflip is a good unisex name, but if a child is named Backflip it has to live up to its name every time you introduced it, immediately performing some kind of aerial somersault at the mention of its name. Unfortunately my wife refuses to let me name our child backflip, even though the names she picks are hideous. (I settled for not pressing the backflip issue as long as we don't use anything she likes)

Anonymous said...

I vote for Olga Yetishka ...nothing says cute and cuddly like a Eastern European Name with a middle name homage to the abominable snowman...It'll will even work in tandem with the nickname of Sasquatchania ;)

NEV

Anonymous said...

Obviously your first child. Or your wife is really nice. I was informed that I could begin choosing names after I want through a 9 month gestational period and lablor.

CT

smootheP said...

christina - thanks for getting us a girl.

matt - thanks.

david - how much? honestly, i want to know.

steph - Sasquatchania is a beautiful melding of Sasquatch and Catania. But a child representing that melding would be brutally ugly and I just couldn't do that to her.

chandra - my wife, the one that is 1/2 Sicilian, 1/2 Philadelphian, and 1/2 Irish... forgiving? yeah, that's the ticket...

choco - all I need to be excited about this girl was to hear the three girls already in the house chanting "GLIT-TER!!! GLIT-TER!!!" at dinner the other night. :)

snoop - so you're going with Brunhilda instead of Backflip? sounds like a mistake to me.

NEV - i believe that Sasquatch is actually Cain. it's possible that Cain's winter home is in the snowy mountains, meaning the Yeti may also be Cain. hmmmm.........

CT - you are right... first child. although my wife is pretty nice, too (within the context of being 1/2 Sicilian, 1/2 Philadelphian, and 1/2 Irish). i will be the one giving the blessing, though, so this baby could be named ANYTHING. like what i eat for breakfast that morning... Wheatie.

Sarah said...

No witty comments from this girl. Just a big CONGRATULATIONS!!!!