So that's about all that has changed since my youth. And I have a few hairs now that grow where they didn't used to, but that's another story. Maybe. Now that I think about it, these two ideas come together in one beautiful celebration of my rapidly approaching 30th. Follow me on this one, if you dare...
The one thing from my childhood that made me the happiest:
Hearing people say, "Just wait til you grow up and can't play all the time" and thinking to myself that when I grow up, I'll just choose to keep playing, no matter what age. And thinking to myself that these old people were really dumb for not playing anymore. I like to think I was pretty easily satisfied as a kid.
The one thing now that makes me happiest:
Successfully pulling out nosehairs in my cubicle at work.
A successful nosehair pull is one that doesn't cause me to sneeze; doesn't cause my eyes to water uncontrollably; doesn't cause me to blow my nose at least twice; doesn't cause my face to distort for at least 10 seconds; doesn't take 12 tries to get it out, each try more eye-/nose-watering than the last; doesn't happen when someone walks by behind me; doesn't result in my elbow hitting the corner of my desk really hard and then having to explain to the guy in the cubicle next to me what the big bang noise was. That's about it for my qualification of a successful nosehair pull.
Am I alone? Does anyone else out there pull nosehairs in the privacy of their cube?
That's all I really want now that I'm old. er. Older. I just want to fade away gracefully, riding a horse into the sunset, having had another successful day at the office. Ridding the world of one nosehair at a time.
11 comments:
Hmm.
I'm still thinking...
I take offense to your He-man comment.
Watch this and you may reconsider
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JEsHUel04dY
Jared
Do you pull them out with just your fingers... or using tweezers?
Dave - hurry up, we don't have all day.
JPI - I had a feeling someone would come and try to defend He-Man's gender orientation after my comment. But honestly... any guy who says "Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword..." can't be straight. Plus, look at his perfectly trimmed bangs and that hairdo... and if you're still not convinced, how bout those fur-lined knee-high purple boots with purple tights and pink shirt?
Marc - I pull my nosehairs out like a man. With my fingers. He-Man uses tweezers.
I think you captured the very essence of nose-hair plucking. I loved it. The sneezing/eye-watering part couldn't have been more appropriately described. Mad propositions!
If you ever sport the ear beard , then I'm leaving you.
Pluck away
Oh, and this would be a problem, too.
By the way, I love you!
OUCH!! It hurts me when Nathan does that!!
As long as your body hair doesn't look like a sweater from a distance you'll be ok!!
Wow...my wife is disturbing...........ly awesome.
Wow the thing that makes you happiest in life is a successful nose hair pull??
I can't wait until your 40th!
Post a Comment