We are issuing a formal factory recall on all "Calvin" stickers. They are not working as intended, and are causing inadvertent anger toward any and all proponents of these stickers.
It does not matter which type of Calvin sticker you have on your vehicle. Whether he is peeing on a Ford symbol, Chevy symbol, Dodge symbol, or your school's nemesis.
It does not matter how long you have had it on your vehicle. Even if you bought it used five minutes ago and the prior owner put it on.
It does not matter where you were born or raised. Hey, I say "squoze" and I know better than to have a Calvin sticker on my car. Heck, I know better than to have a truck in the first place.
It does not matter whether you knew your mother as a child or whether she beat you with a bamboo stick.
It does not matter when you were born. Even if you were born while your mother was watching an episode of The Dukes of Hazzard or The Fall Guy.
It does not matter how tall your girlfriend's hair is. That's not an excuse for anything anymore. Sorry. That used to be good for anything.
It does not matter if your father was Bill Watterson or if your imaginary pet tiger's name is Hobbes. In fact, if either of those things is true, then either your father or your imaginary pet tiger is exceedingly ashamed of you and they want nothing to do with you ever again so you should probably drive your truck off a cliff asap.
Whatever reason or excuse you have for that Calvin sticker, IT DOES NOT MATTER. If you have a Calvin sticker on your vehicle, TAKE IT OFF. No one wants to know how stupid you are. If you need it explained to you any more than this, you won't understand.
Stop being an idiot. If not for your own sake, then for everyone else's.
