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Monday, August 06, 2007

Kobe ain't got nothin' on "The Truth"

(...unless you count lying and cheating...)


Since when has a multi-million-dollar, I-can-get-away-with-anything-in-life-because-I'm-a-great-basketball-player JERK been trying to rip off MY idea?

SINCE NOW! Kobe is trying to take over my "The Truth" thing with a blog of his own.

Kobe Bryant Attempts to Speak "The Truth"?

For a minute, I'm going to talk to Kobe. Feel free to ignore me until I'm done ranting at his smug Laker face-

Kobe, you don't know the truth. Your life has been one big lie after another. Ever since that little fiasco in Eagle County (remember, YOU CHEATED ON YOUR WIFE and made the mistake, if only that time, of getting caught), you've had about as much credibility as Sly Stallone doing Rocky XXIV purportedly without steroids. Good thing for you that at least you had enough money to buy your wife back with that $4 million dollar ring. But let's be honest... she's gonna take more of your money and run the next chance she gets, so you gotta keep your little fiascos out of the news. Man, even Moesha saw through your little web of lies and gave up on you (4th bullet up from the bottom), before it was too late for her. I dare say she was more qualified to write "The Truth" than you are. Yeah, that's a virtual e-slap in your face.

I want you to give up "The Truth" business and leave it to those of us with some integrity and an active moral conscience. I mean, I write about Poop and David Hasselhoff's music and Muffin Tops and Loofas and ... and ... Poop!

If you continue to taint "The Truth", then what are people going to be able to believe? You are the worst kind of bad guy - the one who pretends to be good and fools those of us who aren't intuitive enough to see through your little charade.

Please don't ruin "The Truth" for the real good guys. Like me.